If you happen to ask Santa for something this Christmas, ask for the Tanking Tremendous Bowl. The Detroit Pistons, losers of 20 in a row, and the San Antonio Spurs, losers of 17 straight, play one another Jan. 10. That’s a little bit underneath a month away, and if each groups proceed this dismal kind, Detroit and San Antonio’s runs of destitution could be at 34 and 30, respectively.
Each would break the NBA file of 26-straight losses held by the 2010-11 Cavaliers and the 2013-14 76ers. That’s a tour de power of banality, a nightmare prize struggle, a who’s who of poo-poo, and I couldn’t be extra excited to see which workforce can snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
The Pistons and Spurs are within the backside third of the league in factors scored and allowed regardless of every boasting a former No. 1 total choose. Victor Wembanyama is within the AAU stage of his NBA profession, aka strong however inefficient stats on a workforce bereft of accountability. Don’t inform Gregg Popovich I stated that, nevertheless it’s true. The byproduct of tanking is it normalizes shedding, and clearly the Spurs have a roster stuffed with gamers unmoved by public disgrace.
For Cade Cunningham and the Pistons, the listing of points is daunting. Two weeks in the past, the Detroit Free Press wrote a chunk titled, “Accountability. Effort. Detroit Pistons’ listing of issues rising together with shedding streak.” I can not look ahead to the follow-up — ”Self-loathing. Profession change. Pistons’ streak prompts existential disaster.”
Detroit’s previous two head teaching hires — Monty Williams and Dwane Casey — received Coach of the 12 months honors at their earlier stops (earlier than being fired), but this franchise would have you ever consider they couldn’t lead third graders. The historic shedding streaks by the Spurs and Pistons are each membership data, and I’ll admit that it’s my present favourite storyline within the NBA.
Actually, this could function inspiration for Adam Silver, who’s been attempting to rid the Affiliation of tanking and increase regular-season viewership for years.
As a substitute of two teams of 4 groups that would meet within the playoffs, pit the underside 4 to eight groups towards one another for your complete month of April. How would that work logistically? I don’t know, however it will add intrigue to the race for lottery balls and power these embarrassments to truly win some video games.
Whereas my proposal may be a bit drastic, and positively unrealistic, I believe a losers’ bracket of some type in April would spark morbid curiosity. If the present In-Season Event is meant to double as publicity for the odd franchise that in any other case wouldn’t be talked about, let’s demand followers to speak about organizations they’ve actively been ignoring since January.
Life is about stability and people mushy peas off to the facet of your plate have to be acknowledged. Eat your veggies, NBA Twitter. Right here come the Wizards, Blazers, Spurs and Pistons to . . . maintain you? Remind you that dangerous basketball nonetheless exists?
Paint the courts a resplendent hue of puke, have the PA play fart noises after misses, hand out a trophy formed like a dumpster and require organizations to boost that banner. Actually ramp up the comedic worth and make it a pox simply to be chosen for the Finish-Season Event.
The Pistons-Spurs Tremendous Bowl of Tanking on Jan. 10 might function a comfortable launch for this concept. Flex it to TNT and have the Contained in the NBA crew stage an intervention for the competition’s loser. Like spring break lavatory intercourse, actually bathe within the depravity of all of it.
